Green eyed monster - Grand Designs S16 E6 Concrete Cow Shed

This week I've definitely been a green eyed monster.  Have you ever had a hopeless dream, that you know i your heart of hearts is probably never going to happen - but deep down you cherish a tiny bit of hope that it could, some how some day become a reality?   I'm not talking about marrying your favourite celebrity, or even winning the lottery - but a dream that is rooted at some level in reality and if everything in the universe aligned in the right way you might actually achieve it.

Well I had one of them.  There was this barn, up on a hill top called Windy Ridge, between the family farm and some outlying fields.  It was a bit of an ugly brute - all concrete blocks and ridged asbestos roofing sheets, but my god the views.  Miles and miles of green tapestry stretching across 3 counties to the sea, and the distinctive silhouettes of Pilsdon and Lewesdon hills separating land and sky.  The barn would be a unique opportunity with a unique view.  Sure it would be windy, but you could put something there that hunkered down against the wind, with underfloor heating and log fires to keep you toasty and an expanse of glass to protect you from the elements and let you drink in that glorious view.  I even pictured sipping Spanish hot chocolate from a favourite mug, curled up watching a storm come in.  My dreams have details.

I've walked past this barn beating for the local shoot, I've run past it in rare enthusiastic (yet inevitably short lived) quests for fitness, I've ridden past on ponies as a kid and racehorses as an adult, I've driven past in dad's truck on the way to check the sheep (generally via a pub) or on the way to different jobs picking strawberries at Forde Abbey, or riding out at different yards.  And I've always harboured that dream that nobody else had noticed it and some how I could buy it and turn it into my dream home - my grand design.
Unfortunately it was noticed. For years it remained empty, abandoned even by the cattle it once housed and gradually descending into decrepitude by the assault from the wind and weather that gave the ridge its name.  Various attempts to get planning were submitted by the farmer that owned it and summarily declined.   The dream still lived.  And then the crushing news I had dreaded for years - not only had the barn been sold (and to beastly Londoners no less!) but they had got planning permission to turn it into a house- AND horror of horrors - it was going to be on Grand Designs!

Jesus wept.  How could this be? Not only had these people stolen (well worked and saved the money to buy *technically*) my dream conversion, but they were getting to live my Grand Design dream too!  It should be me chatting to Kevin not them!  And to add final insult to injury - the bloody episode was aired ON MY BIRTHDAY.  What the actual ***k?  It seems the universe did align - but in a horribly ironic way against me!

When my indignation subsided and I actually watched the episode - Series 16, episode 6 "The Concrete Cow Shed"  It was totally gutting.  And as much as I wanted to hate it and them, they actually seemed like a really nice couple and as per usual on the lower budget, hands on approach Grand Designs, I was rooting for them albeit reluctantly by half way through.  It wasn't finished at the end, but you got the gist of what it would be like and it will make a great revisited.  I wont put a pic from when it's finished - the reveal is always the best bit!

Maybe next time I'm home, I'll swing by and take a look in a non stalkerish type way.  The best part of a fantasy is that it could come true.  But I'll have to let get of this particular dream, and just enjoy the thoughts what could have been...

Seeing the wood for the trees

There are two pieces of woodland on the family farm. When we were kids i remember there were chalk paths though the woods that you could walk, ride or drive (in a land rover) through.  In a typical "lies to children" move from parents and grandparents - any time a column of steam could be seen rising from the green canopy, we were told there were witches in the woods!  So we were mainly too scared to go in there, but they were a big part of our growing up.

The big wood from above - hazel clearing top left, poplar plantation bottom right - big jumbly jungle everywhere else

Gradually over 30 years priorities have changed on the farm, labour became more expensive and farming has been through some tough times - hence the maintenance has lapsed and the tidy piece of forestry has gradually morphed into the boggy, tangled messy bits of woodland there today. BUT the woods are full of trees - and full of wood! Most of it native varieties of deciduous trees like beech, ash and oak plus a big stand of poplars that dad planted in the sixties which is pretty much ready for the chop now.

There is also a hazel grove in the big wood that used to be coppiced and regularly maintained.  It is predictably very over grown at the moment, but it is there with a little clearing - almost certainly where the witches lived, although possibly where the hazel was worked and even charcoal made.  I'm sure if you know what you're doing it could be brought back into use - hazel seems to be infinitely resilient, and could become a productive source of firewood, and who knows maybe for wattle and daub walls?

It seems to me that there has to be potential here to use materials from the woodlands to build the frame and build and clad the walls of my fantasy house.  I know you can buy timber.  I know you can buy flat packed houses that are built in a factory and shipped in and erected in a day.  But  - in the style of Ben Law's remarkable cruck framed wooden house on Grand Designs (S3 E3), though maybe not quite that extreme, you can build a beautiful building from the materials available around you.  This also appeals to my basic human skills mentality - make it not buy it.

At the moment turning big leafy tree into usable strips of lumber is a bit of a mystery - but how hard can it be we've been doing it for thousands of years - right?!  I've set myself a bit of homework:

• identify the trees in the woodland - and any potential ones in hedgerows
• investigate what is needed to harvest the wood and extract it
• understand how much usable timber comes from each type of tree
• find out if it should be seasoned and how you store it to do that!
• how to coppice hazel

There is a small tree preservation  company in a nearby village, so they might be a good place to start, plus a walk around the wood with dad just to see what is there.  And of course some interweb research!

Plenty to be going on with then!

A room of one's own

I would love to build not only a room of my own - but in fact a whole home one day, or even homes.  There it is - the infamous "one day" - but I genuinely do have a plan of sorts.  My family own a farm, and as long as the current crash in lamb prices doesn't mean they have to sell it before I've saved up the pennies - I've got my eye on a couple of likely spots on the old place to park some kind of dwelling.

I'm clearly not alone in this particular whimsy - it seems to be a bit of a national obsession judging by the success and sheer volume of programmes like Grand Designs (with its subsequent spin off exhibitions and magazines - not to mention massive international syndications), Amazing Spaces, The House £100k built, My flat pack home and so on ad infinitum.  And I'm addicted to most of them - even the ones with George Clark.  Tolerated to a remarkable high degree, this does generate a quantity of eye rolling from the long suffering hubby who naturally has to watch most of them too, but as long as I'm careful to intersperse my shows with a good smattering of rugby matches and American crime drama, I can usually get away with it.  Hey - at least its not TOWIE or ANTM.  Ahem well mostly anyway...

Dunno what it is about building a house - some basic need to create shelter, or maybe its just massive showig off ego trip, or maybe a manifestation of the need of ownership perpetuated by the corrupting influence of capitalism.  Sorry that was a bit Russell Brand.  Personally -  I want a space that is my own, in the context of the place that I grew up - with my family but not with my family if you know what I mean, a route out of the rat race and into a low impact, sustainable place to escape to.  The idea is that it would be let some of the time to make it viable financially and then we can use it as a bolt hole - and who knows maybe one day be a place to work for myself.  Its a dream at the moment, but while I'm saving, I can research what is needed to make it a reality - planning laws, building techniques, sustainability and green techniques, suppliers, financing - and indulge a bit of fantasy at the same time.

I have lots of conflicting ideas about what it could look like - a single storey pre fabricated log cabin is probably most sensible from a financial and planning perspective.  But what options are out there?  What about something Scandinavian with clapper boards in a soft pastel shade and acres of glass? What about something that borrows from the surrounding agricultural buildings? I do have an absurd irrational yen for corrugated tin buildings and tabernacles - is there an option that could include some of those elements? Is there an option to do something in a traditional building technique like cob or rammed earth - or something super modern?  So many options to explore - Can't wait!